Discouraged

Hi all,

Right now, I'm in the annoying process of looking at my grades for this semester and I feel completely discouraged. I feel that my grades never reflect my work. I recently got a B in a class in which I know I deserved an A. I put so much work into that class. I was up late, I did everything I could. My time centered around that class - but I guess it wasn't enough. And, do I know why I got a B? No. I don't. Will I ever? Doubtful. That's how my program is. They do not tell you why you get certain grades (unless it's something concrete like a multiple choice test). I just want to have straight A's just ONCE in my life. Just ONCE. I know, most people say that grades in graduate school don't count, but they do for me especially if I want a higher degree after this. I just hate putting so much of myself into something and not get anything in return. I know I did not fail, I know I will accomplish my goals, but it just sucks and it's how I feel every semester. I can honestly say that I hate my program. I love my field, but hate my program. That is very tough for me to say - I am afterall, a nerd. I love to read scholarly journals, I love to research, I love to LEARN. But this program has changed me. I am now in survival mode. I have one more semester left of classes and a year of internship and then I am done.

Thanks for letting me vent :-)

Julie